I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day...

Well, it's all over but the countdown.

This is the worst part for me. Accepting the inevitable. It makes me kind of sad and very melancholy. I wish that I had savored it more or taken more time to notice the lights on every one's houses. I wish that I had seen just one more holiday movie.

I saw a tree out by the sidewalk already and it made me realize how fleeting it all is. The Hallmark Channel is already hawking its Valentine's Day movies! No one ever says "I wish it could be Valentine's Day every day!" do they?

I know no one is really reading this blog. I see people searching and it makes me realize that one of my titles can be terribly misconstrued. But I won't change it on the off chance some sex addict is perusing the Internet and finds that there can be things of substance on the Internet that are not about sex.

That being said, I am here feeling my usual post-holiday blues and trying to tell myself that that's all it is. I am trying to convince myself that I am not just having a little holiday pity party for myself.

I don't believe me.

A bit of rambling today. Sorry, dear readers and sex addicts. It cannot be helped.

Another sure sign that the holidays are drawing to a close is the annual "Join Free" Weight Watchers ad and all the others on television. In fact, as I was typing that, Jennifer Hudson was on TV as two people-the fluffy Jennifer and the thin Jennifer.

I don't want to bust her bubble, but I'd love to see the future Jennifer so I could know if she could keep the weight off! I know I couldn't. Oprah couldn't. Al Roker had surgery and he still struggles! Kirsty Allie. Has anyone seen her recently. Curious to see if she has managed to keep the weight off since DWTS.

How will I begin 2012? When I was in high school, the 21st century seemed so far away. If it ever came at all...now, we are more than ten years into it! How did that happen?

John Lennon hit the proverbial nail when he said "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans..." But I didn't think I would turn around and see so much behind me...joy, pain, heartbreak, fear, death, birth! It all happens so quickly. Like a montage in a movie. And even though it looks like it's in slow motion, it's careening past at breakneck speed. It's running right over me!

I hold onto Christmas longer than most people. I keep it playing in my car. I keep watching the DVDs, I keep lighting my lights. Well past what most would deem acceptable. But, Christmas is a season to me and I need to keep it going for at least two more weeks. That's when the wise men came. That's when I might be ready to let it go.

I always thought Jewish people were so lucky because their holiday lasted eight days but then I found out the truth. Most people spend the festival of lights like any other day. It's more of an observed day rather than a high holy day. And they get eight gifts but they are usually seven smaller gifts like dreidls and candies.

I guess I can do whatever I want with Christmas. I have no children who will be confused by the strange and bizarre ritual of lighting the tree until it's time to take it down (and even past that!).

So I will go back into my lovely and beautifully decorated living room and take off my glasses and look at my tree for another half hour tonight. Each Christmas I spend needs a little savoring. Even if it is after the fact.

So Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

P.S. It sounds like I'm giving Oprah a bad rap as far as weight-loss goes. I give her props for putting it out there the way she does. And for being brave enough to face the world even when she fails. And she still looks pretty good and seems to maintaining her weight fairly well even with the gain. Kudos to you, O!

Holiday Madness

Nothing tightens my colon more than the Holiday Rush!


I spend hours trying to figure out how to get all the bills paid and still find a little leftover for the small amount of shopping I need to do.


I just paid a boatload of bills and am hoping that it all works out in the end so I can pay my rent by next Friday and still get an outfit for my work Christmas party that weekend!


I don't know how we do it. We, all of us, have crazy, chaotic lives and are dealing with a less than stellar economy and yet we all find the time and the finances to get it done. 


OK. Maybe my electric bill will have to go one more month and maybe I'll have to cut back on my cookies. But, there will be cookies and gifts and food galore.


And the time? Where does the time come from? It's like we pull it out of thin air!


Those of you who have children and live by their schedules will somehow manage to squeeze in all that shopping and baking and decorating. 


Those who work seventy five hours a week will also find the time to make merry.


I remember my mother saying that when it got to be too difficult and she didn't enjoy it anymore, she would stop all the extras. Unfortunately, she never got a choice in the matter. Her tired heart gave out before her Christmas spirit did!


Last week, when I was sick and feeling sorry for myself (I still am, by the way), I thought for a few days that I wouldn't do it this year. Someone else was going to have to get it all done. No cookies. No shopping except for immediate family and my best friend's son. No decorating. No marathon gift wrap on Christmas Eve. I'd hardly be home to enjoy it anyway.


Then I started thinking about my mother. How, in spite of impossible handicaps and situations, Christmas always came. Every year. When we were flat broke, she still found a way to get the gifts under the tree and feed fifty or sixty of her closest friends and relatives. When she was weeks and weeks in the hospital, she found a way to always keep the spirit of the holidays. 


I think that's why I love Christmas so much. I think that's why it was so hard for me to not feel that spirit. Her spirit. A part of my mother is still alive in me. It wouldn't be fair to her memory to just let a holiday pass me by without celebrating. No matter what is going on with me personally. 


I will fake it 'til I make it this year and eventually, the spirit will find me and I'll see the magic again. I hope it's soon. Only twenty three days!


Oh, crap! What am I doing here? I have a ton of shopping to do!!!

Where Are You, Christmas?

Oh, there you are!!!