Holiday Madness

Nothing tightens my colon more than the Holiday Rush!


I spend hours trying to figure out how to get all the bills paid and still find a little leftover for the small amount of shopping I need to do.


I just paid a boatload of bills and am hoping that it all works out in the end so I can pay my rent by next Friday and still get an outfit for my work Christmas party that weekend!


I don't know how we do it. We, all of us, have crazy, chaotic lives and are dealing with a less than stellar economy and yet we all find the time and the finances to get it done. 


OK. Maybe my electric bill will have to go one more month and maybe I'll have to cut back on my cookies. But, there will be cookies and gifts and food galore.


And the time? Where does the time come from? It's like we pull it out of thin air!


Those of you who have children and live by their schedules will somehow manage to squeeze in all that shopping and baking and decorating. 


Those who work seventy five hours a week will also find the time to make merry.


I remember my mother saying that when it got to be too difficult and she didn't enjoy it anymore, she would stop all the extras. Unfortunately, she never got a choice in the matter. Her tired heart gave out before her Christmas spirit did!


Last week, when I was sick and feeling sorry for myself (I still am, by the way), I thought for a few days that I wouldn't do it this year. Someone else was going to have to get it all done. No cookies. No shopping except for immediate family and my best friend's son. No decorating. No marathon gift wrap on Christmas Eve. I'd hardly be home to enjoy it anyway.


Then I started thinking about my mother. How, in spite of impossible handicaps and situations, Christmas always came. Every year. When we were flat broke, she still found a way to get the gifts under the tree and feed fifty or sixty of her closest friends and relatives. When she was weeks and weeks in the hospital, she found a way to always keep the spirit of the holidays. 


I think that's why I love Christmas so much. I think that's why it was so hard for me to not feel that spirit. Her spirit. A part of my mother is still alive in me. It wouldn't be fair to her memory to just let a holiday pass me by without celebrating. No matter what is going on with me personally. 


I will fake it 'til I make it this year and eventually, the spirit will find me and I'll see the magic again. I hope it's soon. Only twenty three days!


Oh, crap! What am I doing here? I have a ton of shopping to do!!!