Don't Wish it Away

For much of the day today, I kept having the feeling it was Thursday.

Being in such a panicked state as I am during the holiday crunch, it was really beginning put a strain on what little composure I have left.

When I realized that it was not  Wednesday, I couldn't help but rejoice that I still had two more whole days to get it all done!

Upon talking to my clients today and during holiday times in general, I hear so many people complaining and moaning about how much they still have to do, how tired they are, how it's so not worth it for one day of the year, yadda yadda yadda...

Then what exactly is the point? Why are you putting yourself through it? Nobody's twisting your arm. Nobody's got a gun to your head saying "Be merry or I'll shoot ya where ya stand!" Nothing terrible will happen to you if you don't do it all, will it?

People, what's with the negative holiday vibes??? You're all missing the point of the season.

That's right. It's a SEASON! It lasts from Thanksgiving until New Year's Day. Approximately six week of our lives to do something nice for others. To make charitable contributions. To sit with our loved ones and enjoy their company.To have an excuse to eat crap all day long!

You are not alone if you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, exhausted, impatient, even a little bit sad. We all feel that way during this time of year. But, I think we all need to sit down and re-examine why we participate.

I began doing the whole Holiday Madness thing when I was pretty young. I got caught up in my mother's holiday planning for the holidays. She cooked, baked, shopped and wrapped until she could barely walk. I can't help but wonder what her motivation was.

If I had to guess, I would say that she liked the attention. But I would like to add that she really did love bringing everyone together from all different places in her life. My father always came on Christmas even though they had been separated for years. Neighbors from our apartment complex would stop by. Tons of family-first and second cousins and great aunts and uncles. And my aunt's ex-husband's family. And the stranger on the corner! Fifty or sixty of her closest friends and relatives and if you had a perfect stranger tagging along, the more the merrier!

I think back in the day and today, the motivation is and was the same. We cook and bake and shop and wrap and decorate and wear ourselves out and wear our nerves down to the nub! Why? Because it's Christmas time! What? It's Christmas time. And that's what we do.

The kids haven't changed all that much. The gifts have changed but kids are still kids.  Babies are always more interested in the box. Toddlers will put anything in their mouths. Pre-tweens and tweens want bigger, more expensive gifts but they also still desperately cling to the belief that Santa will bring them that one, elusive gift they didnt' tell anyone about. Older kids want gift cards and college kids and grads want cash.

We think they've changed because we've changed. We've become jaded and cynical and grumpy and impatient. So everything seems different! But, it's really still the same as it's always been.

The lights are still magical. We just need to look at them in a different way. Santa still brings the presents and fills the stockings. We just need to believe a little harder. The beautiful stories of what the true meaning of the season is all around us. It's there! Just look harder. Don't be so cynical. So what if the snow is made of cheese and the trees are artificial? So what if it hardly ever snows on Christmas? So what if you don't believe in God or Jehovah or Abraham? So what if you don't really understand what Kwanzaa is all about? So what if you are skeptical that a small amount of oil could have burned for eight days? So what if your ancestors celebrated the Winter Solstice with Pagan worship?

Why can't we all just embrace the holiday season for what it is instead of sitting down and saying "I just can't wait until it's over"?

I saw tens of thousands of people and thousands upon thousands of uniformed police officers come to my tiny village to bid farewell to a fallen hero this week. I know that won't bring this man back for his family but what an amazing sign of hope and good will that all these people, strangers mostly, came to say "Goodbye." They came together and raised money for this man's family.

And so many others are facing tragedies in their lives today. Bad things don't stop happening because it's the holidays. But good things happen more often during this time of year.

People donate, food and coats and money to help people they've never met. They buy an unwrapped toy and donate it while they're shopping.  They send letters to servicemen overseas. They visit home bound people so they won't be alone. They give of themselves. They give their time, their food, their money...all to help people less fortunate. Charitable donations go up around the holidays for a reason...it's the spirit of the season! It's not about cooking six lasagnas, un-knotting fifty-gazillion lights, shopping 'til you drop, baking cookies, lighting candles and opening presents.


It's about finding joy in the simplest things. It's about being generous and kind even when it's nine thousand degrees and the cashier at Macy's is 100 years old! It's about finding your grace.



Don't wish the season away. It all goes too quickly anyway. It's not a root canal. It doesn't have to be so painful!

There is a message of hope and joy and peace in this season. You just need to look a little harder. But it's there. It's inside you!

I wish you, dear reader (both of you), a happy holiday, happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa and so on and so forth...May peace, joy, and love fill your hearts.