"It's Coming on Christmas, They're Cutting Down Trees"

It's that special time of year again.

A time of joy, love, peace and good will toward our fellow man.

We look on it with fear and dread.

We long for there to be more hours in the day and more money in our bank accounts.

The children maybe nestled all snug and envisioning sugar plums or whatever,
but the adults are scrambling to get it all done; running on caffeine, fast food and not enough sleep.

We are bombarded with commercials that promise if we shop in a certain store we will be able to accomplish amazing feats of giving, baking, decorating and staying within our budgets.

Images of shiny red luxury vehicles glistening in the snow replete with a huge red ribbon are lighting up our HD TVs. All you need to do is wish and it will be out in your driveway on Christmas morning.

I'm not buying into the hype this year!

I'm trying to keep the true meaning of the holiday season in the forefront of my mind this year. I am trying to remember that it is not just about what we buy and how we decorate or how many cookies we bake.

In my house, growing up, Christmas was a marathon of cooking, decorating, baking, cleaning, shopping and wrapping. My mother loved to entertain on the holidays. She set a high bar and I have always tried to live up to her ideals.

But, over the past few years, I have come to realize that maybe she over did it just a smidge.

I have tried to pare it down to less cookies and less shopping and being more present than actually giving presents.

No easy task. I have become a holiday perfectionist. If I can't get it all in; from writing out cards to finding the perfect gift you didn't know you wanted; I feel like a failure.

But if the past year has taught me anything, it is how to put things in perspective. I have learned that being perfect and getting it all done isn't as important as being present in my life and spending time with the people I love doing things that make me and others happy.

So I will shop, bake, decorate, wrap, watch Christmas movies, bask in the glow of my family and friends, and I will try to remember what the whole point of the season is: LOVE.

I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day...

Well, it's all over but the countdown.

This is the worst part for me. Accepting the inevitable. It makes me kind of sad and very melancholy. I wish that I had savored it more or taken more time to notice the lights on every one's houses. I wish that I had seen just one more holiday movie.

I saw a tree out by the sidewalk already and it made me realize how fleeting it all is. The Hallmark Channel is already hawking its Valentine's Day movies! No one ever says "I wish it could be Valentine's Day every day!" do they?

I know no one is really reading this blog. I see people searching and it makes me realize that one of my titles can be terribly misconstrued. But I won't change it on the off chance some sex addict is perusing the Internet and finds that there can be things of substance on the Internet that are not about sex.

That being said, I am here feeling my usual post-holiday blues and trying to tell myself that that's all it is. I am trying to convince myself that I am not just having a little holiday pity party for myself.

I don't believe me.

A bit of rambling today. Sorry, dear readers and sex addicts. It cannot be helped.

Another sure sign that the holidays are drawing to a close is the annual "Join Free" Weight Watchers ad and all the others on television. In fact, as I was typing that, Jennifer Hudson was on TV as two people-the fluffy Jennifer and the thin Jennifer.

I don't want to bust her bubble, but I'd love to see the future Jennifer so I could know if she could keep the weight off! I know I couldn't. Oprah couldn't. Al Roker had surgery and he still struggles! Kirsty Allie. Has anyone seen her recently. Curious to see if she has managed to keep the weight off since DWTS.

How will I begin 2012? When I was in high school, the 21st century seemed so far away. If it ever came at all...now, we are more than ten years into it! How did that happen?

John Lennon hit the proverbial nail when he said "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans..." But I didn't think I would turn around and see so much behind me...joy, pain, heartbreak, fear, death, birth! It all happens so quickly. Like a montage in a movie. And even though it looks like it's in slow motion, it's careening past at breakneck speed. It's running right over me!

I hold onto Christmas longer than most people. I keep it playing in my car. I keep watching the DVDs, I keep lighting my lights. Well past what most would deem acceptable. But, Christmas is a season to me and I need to keep it going for at least two more weeks. That's when the wise men came. That's when I might be ready to let it go.

I always thought Jewish people were so lucky because their holiday lasted eight days but then I found out the truth. Most people spend the festival of lights like any other day. It's more of an observed day rather than a high holy day. And they get eight gifts but they are usually seven smaller gifts like dreidls and candies.

I guess I can do whatever I want with Christmas. I have no children who will be confused by the strange and bizarre ritual of lighting the tree until it's time to take it down (and even past that!).

So I will go back into my lovely and beautifully decorated living room and take off my glasses and look at my tree for another half hour tonight. Each Christmas I spend needs a little savoring. Even if it is after the fact.

So Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

P.S. It sounds like I'm giving Oprah a bad rap as far as weight-loss goes. I give her props for putting it out there the way she does. And for being brave enough to face the world even when she fails. And she still looks pretty good and seems to maintaining her weight fairly well even with the gain. Kudos to you, O!

Can't Blog...(changed the name in hopes porn seekers will desist)

It has been awhile since I have posted anything on this blog due to an Internet issue on my laptop.


I had all these inspirational thoughts at Thanksgiving and even more food thoughts! Too bad the turkey coma pushed them right out of my head.


Think I was going to discuss how lucky and blessed I was and how this is the perfect time to reflect on all that crap.


I also think I had something to say about being thankful for my family and friends and the bounty on our tables...Yadda Yadda Yadda


Several days and a lung-splitting cold later, I don't feel so blessed and lucky!


My computer broke and I lack the funds for a new one or even to repair this one; my brother had some lame excuse as to why he couldn't come to Thanksgiving dinner; I cooked for thirteen people none of whom was my spouse; and I had no left over turkey!


The best part of Thanksgiving is my special sandwich!


Today, I had a poor substitute for it but it just wasn't the same. I had a back up turkey and everything but when I went to cook it the day after, it was rotten! Ick. I could gag just thinking of it! 


Oh, well. Not the end of the world. But, not the best way for me to kick off this holiday season either. 


The thought of going through the motions this year is filling me with...nothing...I feel very little about it. Maybe I need to get out to the stores and then I'll feel the magic. I saw some nicely decorated houses last night. Eh...big deal. I also went to church for the first Sunday of Advent...that should get my holiday juices flowing... not so much. 


It was the first Sunday of the New Roman Missal as well. Nobody knew what they were doing. Kinda sad. I couldn't pay attention to the priest. Does not bode well for my spiritual nourishment this holiday season, does it?


My husband is from Pennsylvania. They have some weird sayings in the Big Rectangle. One of them is where my inspiration for the title of this post came from: Can't dance, too wet to plough. Translation: an indifferent "Might as well...Nothing better to do..." followed by an un-invested shrug.


So my choice of title reflects this self-proclaimed Christmas dork's feelings about the coming days...I'll write about the holidays...but it doesn't mean I'll enjoy it!

Treat or Treat

Today is Halloween. All the little Ninjas and Princesses and ghosts and goblins are taking to the streets. They are ringing the bell and begging for treats. They don't even say "Trick or treat" anymore. They just open their bags and wait. When I ask "What do you say?" they usually say "Thank you". I'm considering only giving Skittles and keeping all the chocolate!

And so begins the season of eating.

It is the time of year that fluffy people either dread or long for.

The weather is colder and we can wear bulkier clothes and cover up more. We can also place the blame for looking larger on those clothes.

We can stay indoors and have an excuse for being a couch potato.

It's also the time of year when we have excuses for over-eating.

I waited on purpose this year to buy my candy and the ingredients for my annual "Ghosts in the Graveyard" dessert I make every year for my co-workers. I knew that those packages of Oreos would not be safe. Instead, I purchased everything on Thursday evening of last week. By the time my husband got home from work, I had eaten about 5 "Fun Size" Almond Joys while making grilled cheese sandwiches (and sampling the cheese, of course!) and tomato soup for dinner. (Including Cheez-its for the soup!) (Don't look at me like that! They were "Reduced Fat"!)

I was beyond full and still ate all my dinner. (And a couple/three/four more Almond Joys. Hey, sometimes you feel like a nut!)

The eating season has begun. (As if I need a reason!) 

It's all downhill from here. First, it's the Halloween candy. Next thing you know, it's time to have pumpkin muffins and cinnamon lattes! Then pies and turkey and gravy and stuffing and sweet potatoes. As if it isn't hard enough all the time for a compulsive eater to try to do the right thing. Now they make everything look so festive and appetizing. I don't have a chance of keeping my eating under control!

Well, let's face it. I wasn't really making much of an effort.

At this time of year, I begin to dread it all. It's a love/hate relationship. I love the holidays. I hate the holidays.

I love decorating and prepping and cooking and baking and cleaning and shopping. I really do love it. That's why I hate it.

I hate that I love spending all that money and time I don't have getting it all done.

This year, money and time are an even more rare commodity in my life. And, as I am sure you surmised by previous posts, I don't exactly have my shit together!

Let's face it, even the most organized person can be worn down to the nub by holiday preparation! And, of late, I am anything but organized.

But I will make my lists and spend money I don't have and somehow manage to get it done and on New Year's Eve I'll turn around and wonder if I had a good time over the holidays.

And it's only November 1st!