I Feel Pretty

I may have mentioned this before. Or maybe I have alluded to it, but, I am in the beauty business.

I am getting so tired of television commercials trying to define what is beautiful by using perfectly airbrushed models with skin that looks like plastic and hair so shiny it cannot possibly be real.

The commercial that set me off and inspired me to write tonight (I have not had the inclination of late) was for mascara. It showed a very young, very made-up model with very nice lashes. Perfect and full and of course, fake. Then they simulated application of their magically magnifying mascara and her lashes were so long and full that she could barely open her eyes. And they were completely fake! Possibly lash extensions with two or three sets of false lashes and then computer generated into huge bug-like things. This did not look pretty to me.

Then there is the commercial where the model talks about her age spots and wrinkles and how the high end cream she uses all but eliminated her dark spots. This miraculous occurrence took place on the face of a model who could not have been more than twenty-two years old!

Are we actually buying this crap? Does anyone think that those "women" are old enough to have dark spots and wrinkles? Do we really think these lotions and serums and creams work? Lots of us do. They lie to us and we eat it up! We spend our hard earned money on these potions and lotions because we think it will help bring us nearer to our never-ending quest for perfection.

But who defines what that perfection is??

The advertisers who hawk their wares on TV? The ad men and women who dream up these ridiculous ads?

Then there are the celebrity endorsements. Halle Berry is beautiful. I will not take that away from her. But she puts a huge dollop of make-up on her fingertips and it blends flawlessly into her already flawless skin. I have been a make-up artist for almost thirty years and I have yet to see any product do what so many of these commercials claim. Especially on a woman in her mid- forties.

I am all for enhancing what we have and looking pretty. It's my job. It's my life.

But at what cost, beauty?

We shouldn't need to pay such a high price for prettiness and get only disappointment and insecurity in return.

Why can't the advertisers show real people with all their flaws and say "This won't make you perfect but it can make you look better."

I have been doing hair and make-up for almost three decades. I have seen many trends come and go. But the classic beauty of a woman isn't so much in her perfection. It's more in maximizing what is lovely and minimizing all the rest.

Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly are two of my all-time favorite actresses and both very beautiful in their own right. They both had a glaring flaw that most of us never even noticed because their natural beauty shone through. And also photographers and cinematographers were well aware of it and knew how to film them to not show this feature that made them less than perfect. They both had very strong, square, almost masculine jawlines.

I know, I know. In the world of "flaws" that's not so terrible. But Grace Kelly had approval over her photos and most that accentuated this manly feature were destroyed.

Marilyn Monroe was considered flawless in her time. When she was discovered, she was very photogenic and perfectly beautiful. But they still fixed her nose and her chin and bleached her hair. I am so glad that she at least kept her curves.

So many true icons of today are less than perfect. But I believe that they have something that so many of us lack. They are, most likely, comfortable in their own skin.

And yet the commercials and the magazine ads, even many articles in newspapers and online, make us feel inadequate and inferior and therefore more self-conscious. And so we buy what they're selling; literally and figuratively. We believe their hype and we spend billions on their empty promises.

To me, each face is a canvas. I can enhance the pretty parts for you but I can't always fix what's inside. So many times I have had people who are not ugly but not attractive either, sit in that make-up chair and tell me to get out my magic wand. That's when I look for it. I look for the spark that will ignite the prettiness. It's always there. It's rarely failed me. A little concealer here, a little shimmer there, and Voila! BEAUTY! Just from me telling them how this little bit of sparkly shadow in the corner of their eyes will make them look bright and awake, this bronzer will give them a honeyed glow, not too much mascara but enough to open the eyes, follow the natural curve of an already perfect top lip and they are transformed. Magic happens.

The prettiness was there the whole time. The confidence enhanced it; not the make-up. They think  something miraculous happens. And it does; their inner light shines and they are, indeed, flawless.

In a world where women seem to be under so much pressure to be perfect and pretty all the time, I am grateful for the opportunity to tell so many of them that they are already beautiful, they just can't see. I see it because I am a trained professional. And, lucky me, I actually get to show it to them!

Now, if I could only make dumb people smarter...