"Same Auld Lang Syne..."

Well, it's here again. Another year over. If I may quote John Lennon. 


I always try to go with my mother's philosophy that if something is ending, something is also beginning. 


So 2011 is over but 2012 is just about to begin. 


As the years fly by and melt into each other, I find myself getting more and more anxious over the passage of time. As time passes, I realize that my mother was right "The older you get, the faster it goes." I used to hate admitting that my mother was right about anything. But time passed and she's gone so now I don't mind so much.


I looked up the meaning of Auld Lang Syne even though I already knew it. There are several translations. It's Sottish and it means "old long since". But that's literal and you can't take everything literally. It is also said to mean "for old times' sake" or "old times" or "days gone by" or, in the case of When Harry Met Sally, as Harry wonders what the lyrics mean, Sally says, "maybe it means we're supposed to remember that we forgot them. Anyway, it's about old friends!"


In my lifetime, I have been very blessed to have some amazing friends. I have my girls who have carried me through all the big stuff-love, loss, marriage, death. Then there is the surrounding support group. The people I don't see often but we don't hold grudges if we haven't seen each other for a long time.(Well, I don't, anyway.)  If I needed them, they'd be there. I have my "new" friends, most of whom I've known for ten years or longer. At this time of year, I think of all of them. Especially now because, as a caregiver, my time is so limited. 


I love to look back and remember all the fun and all the laughter. I try to put aside the bad times. Most of the really bad times were not so bad in hindsight. I'm not talking life and death bad, I'm talking your run-of-the mill parents split up, money trouble, speeding ticket stuff. Nothing was ever as bad as it seemed if I could just call one of them and we'd end up laughing about something else. I remember the parties and the walks and the outings and the shopping trips and the break-ups and the engagements and the pregnancy announcements!! 


Whole days spent at the beach. A whole week spent out of the sun due to sun poisoning. Ski trips. Camping trips. Great Adventure with me holding everyone's stuff because I was too afraid to go on giant roller coasters. We bolstered each other and held each other up. We also made fun of each other in that easy way that friends have. Endless dinners and get-togethers...No excuses needed.


I am so blessed to say that so many of these people are still in my life. We make new memories every time we are together. These days, that is not nearly enough!


We all get busy with our own stuff. We all get caught up in our own dramas (small and large). We all turn around and can't believe that another year has passed us by and we haven't gotten together.


At this time of year, especially, I am feeling the time pass all too quickly.

I wish I had the ability to savor every moment. I don't. It goes by and I realize that I've missed something. Something important. But, I don't have the time to stop and think about it.

Truth is, I don't make the time. None of us do.

When was the last time you sat with your siblings or cousins or Aunts or friends and laughed? I mean really laughed? Laughed with your stomach muscles?Laughed with your head? Laughed with your whole heart? Laughter is so under-rated!

I spend a lot of time crying these days and longing for what could have been. Longing for what can never be. I wish that I could turn back the clocks and the calendars and get some of those precious things back. Some of the things we don't even realize we are missing. In some cases, it could be an old friend. Or it could be a game we played as a child.  Or hair. Or a candy they don't make anymore. A favorite pet. A parent. I would have eaten more veggies and learned to like exercising. I would have started a family at a much younger age. But it's all spilled milk, isn't it? The proverbial water under the bridge.

All we can do as time marches by is join the parade. We need to find the joy in the little things. We need to laugh more. We need to take time to be still and have a conversation with God or whatever it is we believe in. We need to watch the sunsets and the sunrises. We need to spend time with the people we love. They leave us much too quickly! We need to always be learning new things and staying informed about our world. We need to show compassion to others less fortunate than ourselves.

We need to take this year of 2012 and make it ours. For better or worse. It's all we get. Just this year. Just this day. Just this hour. Just this moment. This is our life and we don't do it any justice by wishing for something else.

So to all my "old acquaintance" I've forgotten to remember and the ones I've remembered, I wish you a year that is filled with joy and pain, love and sorrow, laughter and tears. It's the same "Auld Lang Syne", my friends. It can't all be perfection, but it can be beautiful. 



My journey of faith has taken many twists and turns this past year and I have learned that there are forces much bigger than I  running this show called "Life" and so I need to put some faith in those forces that it will all turn out as it should. 

I hope we can all find some joy, peace, love, and prosperity this year. And hopefully these things will balance out whatever else the fates have in store.

"God bless us, every one." Happy New Year!

It's About Time

Actually, it's about making time.

I don't know anyone this day and age who does not wish they had more time in their day/week/month/year/lifetime. Don't you?

I have major limits on my time these days. Don't get me wrong. I am responsible for the time constraints I face each day.

We all have work and responsibilities. Some of us have children (well, not me personally) or pets or family members or friends or other types of obligations that limit the amount of time we have to do more of the things that we want.

I am a HUGE procrastinator. That takes up whatever free time I have leftover from my busy schedule. I often think that if I could just get myself moving, I would accomplish a ton each day.

Back in the day, when I used to actually go out on a regular basis, I would spend hours getting ready. But very little of that time was actually used to accomplish anything. I could get myself ready in very little time. The thing that held me up was getting started to get ready.

It's my mantra today-it doesn't take me a long time to get ready, it takes me a long time to get started. And I married a procrastinator.

If I added up all the time in my life that I have spent procrastinating, I'd have a couple of extra years of free time!

Enter Farbsday.

A long time ago, my dear friend and I were talking and we decided that all we needed in life was an extra day. She said, laughingly, "We'll call it Farbsday!" I don't know why, but, Farbsday stuck with me and I have longed for it ever since.

Every once in awhile, I post it on Facebook that I am starting a movement to add this day to our week. We should be able to whittle a couple of hours here and there. And there would be absolute laws for Farbsday that would never be able to be amended or tampered with. It will be a day for catching up. No one will be allowed to do anything that is disagreeable to them. No one will be allowed to schedule showers or birthday parties or weddings or funerals or holy days of obligation or big projects on Farbsday. It will be for catching up on reading or seeing friends or making a nice dinner for our families instead of a thrown together meal at the last minute.

It will be about savoring every exquisite second we have doing only things we love or seeing only people we love.

Sounds perfect doesn't it?

I am one of those people that, when someone says "let's get together!" I think to myself "Yeah, right. Like I have time for that!" But I usually say yes knowing that we'll never end up making plans anyway.

I remember watching a segment on a morning show about Oprah. It was kind of like a day in the life of the busiest woman in America. I learned a few things. One is that Oprah does not set an alarm clock. She relies (or did then) on her own internal clock to get her up on time and she never snoozed. She just woke up at some ridiculous hour like 4 in the morning and just got out of bed and started her day.

No alarm clock? No snoozing? Unfathomable. But I realized that Oprah is an exceptionally organized woman. I'm sure it helps that she has people to keep her on track-assistants and publicists and the like. But, the idea and the simplicity of just waking and beginning your day is absolutely brilliant.

My issues with time are mostly of my own making. My feeble excuses for finding time are starting to wear thin on my own nerves. I am feeling a call to action.

This past week, I heard from an old friend. He's been saying we should get together and I have been giving him my stock answer of OK but never pinning anything down. This time I said OK and gave a day and time and we met last night for drinks at our old haunt. It was a lovely evening of catching up and reminiscing and I enjoyed every precious second!

My procrastinating style is of the all-or-nothing variety. I feel like I don't want to start cleaning out my closet if I can't complete the project all at once so I don't ever clean out that closet. Then, when I finally get enough free time to do it, I waste so much time stalling and negotiating with myself that, before I know it, I am out of time. My stall tactic is usually telling myself how busy I've been and how I deserve a little me time and I should relish it. Yadda Yadda Yadda!

This week, I turned a corner in that I decided to make use of even the smallest amounts of time. It's a work in progress but I have accomplished some minor things like drinks with a friend and getting right in the shower this morning instead of watching Matt Lauer.

And I made time for blogging.

It's my new leaf. I turned it over and I am going to make a conscious effort to meet up with people when I'm invited and stop using my lack of time as an excuse for not accomplishing anything.

These little snippets of time add up to a lot of wasted time so I am vowing here and now to use them to their best advantage. But first I have to watch Harry Potter. Is it Farbsday yet??